Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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