Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
