HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You are a genius and a whore.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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