hell yes lets make some ravioli
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
