meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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