are you still at the devil's house?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
