Plan B is the new Plan A
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
