one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
