Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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