If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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