by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
How's work?
Spinning.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
