Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
