so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
