Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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