I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
