Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
