Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.