Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in