I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.