The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help