also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
