it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
His nipple licking is glorious
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