you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
