mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Congratulations! We have a period
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize