dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
