Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
