physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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