it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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