Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
