I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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