Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize