i would punch a child for taco bell
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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