When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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