You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize