Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
he high fived his dick after we had sex
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
