I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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