All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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