she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
