well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
