don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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