I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize