Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
