im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
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