is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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