I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Congratulations! We have a period
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