you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
