Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
