You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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