do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
