Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
