She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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