I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
