i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize