So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
