but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
