i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
