I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i will never coherently bang her
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
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