so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I deserve this hangover.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
