I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I need moral support for this bender
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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