is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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