Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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