We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Who died my cat blue again?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
