So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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