Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
