its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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